New beginnings

Holy moly it's been a long time no see.

We've celebrated big milestones in these parts...birthdays, anniversaries, starting up new businesses. We've had some downs, too. Lost our big Kody boy in December :( He's hanging out over that rainbow bridge with his sister, so I'm sure they're having a blast. Sadie is doing well, but getting old and grumpy. Still a huge snuggle bug and tolerates the children as much as she can. haha.

It wouldn't be in our nature to let the house get empty, so we added to the furry brood, too. Meet Kiana. She's a feisty one. A totally different personality than what we're used to, but she reminds me so much of Kira it hurts sometimes.

The craziness continues. As mentioned, the boys are now 5 and 2..WHAT?! The bub will be starting kindergarten in the fall, which absolutely blows my mind. That boy needs something to kee phim occupied, though, so I think this will be a great new adventure for all of us. This also means I have to adult full time now, and I'm not sure how much I'm ready for that. I mean, packing lunches, making sure homework is done, school supplies, and a partridge in a pear tree. I'm overwhelmed, but trying to start now getting into the swing of organization.

We started a garden this year. I mean, we had one last year, but let's face it...now it's a garden! We're talking about 18 tomato plants, rows of cucumbers, beans, peppers, carrots, lettuce, spinach, and still space to actually walk around. It's been so much fun, for me and the kids. I lost a few plants and almost had tears. It's been my baby this year, with growing everything starting the seeds from scratch. So glad it actually produced something, or the hubs may have rung my neck.

I also started up a new business! Pretty excited about it. Me and the bff have been talking for years about getting involved in running a shindig on our own, and we've finally lit that fire under our butts. Thankfully, it was made a little more simple with the help of the amazing upline we have to guide our way. I'm sure you've heard about it...I'm talking LuLaRoe. The amazing leggings company, right? Wrong. They are so much more! As attorneys by day, we are constantly in skirts, blouses, uncomfortable shoes. Bleh. Once we tried a few pieces (okay a lot of pieces) we were hooked. The skirts have a yoga band top you guys. Can we talk no more mom tummy? Yeah. Sucks you right in. Not to mention, the dresses are so easy. Grab a blazer and you are good to go for a day in the office, a day in court, meetings, whatever. Let's face it, I pretty much don't own anything else at this point. Want to see what all the fuss is about and help spread the word? We do all of our sales right on facebook (we'll even come to your home and let you personally shop with your friends and family, too.) Join us here --> www.facebook.com/groups/lularoekbboutique
I can't explain to you enough how much this new venture has changed our lives and given us this new sense of freedom. We can almost taste it folks. That dream of being able to do what we want with our lives instead of working to live is almost a reality. Share the love, see for yourself what the comfort is all about. There might even be some leggings in it for you.

Phew! There's so much more I could go on and on about. But for now, I guess it's back to work, and not the fun kind.

Settling In....only took about 10 months

Life with 2 isn't quite what I thought it would be, but to be quite honest, I'm not sure what I thought, so there's a thinker for ya. I've told people on numerous occasions that baby #1 nearly broke us, but baby #2 has made us stronger. I don't know if it was the timing of other life happenings or just that we realized it was do or die at this point. The hubs and I have learned to make time to keep up with the little things, like lounging on the couch, together, a few nights a week, kisses and hugs when we can steal them, and just knowing that you have to keep doing your fair share or the ship will quite possibly sink with everyone on board.
It's not all puppies and rainbows, but it's working, and that's all that matters to me right now.
The one thing that has completely blindsided me is how much Jackson needs me. And the baby needs me. And the husband needs me, and did I mention I'm needed? Sometimes feeling needed is nice, but this is extreme. I could really use some space these days, and even the bathroom isn't an oasis anymore. The oldest learned to turn doorknobs a long time ago, and the littlest is catching on quick. Lock the door you say? That's not an option when you have one that is potty trained and god forbid...needs to use it at the exact moment that you're in there. You'd swear he's peeing his pants at the sound of the banshee screams coming from outside that locked door. It's just easier to throw out all modesty and roll with it.
The littlest has maintained the nicknames of "minion", "spartan", "menace", you get the idea. He's feisty, crafty and sometimes I get the feeling he's plotting my demise. He's sure going to be quite the handful and doesn't even try to hide it. So different than big bro who just sort of chilled for most of his non-walking time. Before I know it, I'll be chasing the little bugger up and down the hall in hopes I can pry whatever items he has in his death grip, probably stolen from yet another cabinet he's learned how to get through the child proof locks on.
It's alright. Look at this face.

Did I mention the spartan-esque character? That was noted lovingly by his awesome daily child wranglers. This was an action shot

Never a dull moment.

Some days, just gotta remember even the bad times are worth the few and far between awesome ones.

...speaking of being needed, the cats are telling me in a not so gentle manner that it's way past their dinner time. Happy weekend!!

Secret Outlast 48hr protection review

<img src="https://img.bzzagent.com/image/secret.jpg?Type=activity&Activity=5254132653&Campaign=2877364477&Uid=1192574&token=45fb984d6bb647715ed74ff50df49751" alt=""/>

I was given this product to review through bzzagent. However, all opinions are my own.

I tried this product previously before being asked to review it for free. I wasn't incredibly impressed then and still wasn't this time.

As a teen, I always used Secret. It seemed to be the most talked about brand and everyone used it on my sports teams. I was always still a sweaty mess, and after a rough practice, smelled like a locker room. As I got older, I never seemed to grow out of that problem, but did try a few more brands to hopefully find something, anything that worked. No luck. When I was asked to try this product again, and for free, I jumped on it.

I still sweat, I still smell, and it certainly doesnt provide 48 hours worth of protection. I'd say one 8 hour work day is about all it can handle.

No white marks to worry about since it goes on clear, but a good invisible solid can do the same. It does have a fantastic smwll, but it doesn't last, or I'd be sold. I could sniff that scent all day. (Not that I recommend sniffing a deoderant stick all day.)

While this may work for the normal woman, it just wasn't for me and my sweaty man-like armpits.

Baby bro on the move...almost

Baby x is almost on the move, which means i need to lace up my running shoes, because this kid is going to be a maniac once he can get around on his own. The sappy mom part of me is crying inside that my baby is growing up, but I'm also excited that we're getting closer to having 2 brothers that can finally play and interact. The bub just wants someone to race cars, host puppet shows and play hide and go seek with. I'll be singing a different tune when i have to find a child trapped in the dryer or locked outside I'm sure, but for now, this momma will dream.

Baby X...a love story, take 2

Edit: Here's mom brain for you. I already wrote his birth story, but I'm too scared that there may be different information, so I'll leave this one up as a take 2. :)

Mom brain: it's real.

It's completely old news, but I don't want too much time to go by without writing about the day our family turned into a foursome. Unless you count furbabies, in which case...oy. Lots of babies, but I digress.

Towards the end of the pregnancy, I kept having just "off" days. I would feel woozy or dizzy or just completely on fire. I was told to take my blood pressure a few times a week to keep an eye on things so I wouldn't end up in a similar situation with pre-eclampsia like I did with the bub. When I would take it at home, it'd be through the roof, so much so that I called the on-call number one night. They told me so long as I could see straight and felt alright in other parts of my body, we could wait until the morning to get things checked out. Sure enough, I'd get to the doctor and it wasn't so bad.

Somewhere around 37 weeks, the blood pressure at the doc was starting to read high, and near 38 weeks, they started to find protein in my urine, another factor of pre-e starting. I was also up about 60 pounds at this point, and growing fast. Granted, I knew that the box of munchkins I was sometime eating in one day weren't helping that cause. Let's not focus there. mk? I love food, and donuts? Forget it.

I had an off day, I was reading really high blood pressure at home, went to a checkup and was reading high, they sent me to the WETU (I don't remember what it stands for at the moment, but essentially the ER you visit before getting admitted to a room when you're in labor or getting ready to have the baby.) Sure enough, my blood pressure was elevated. They had me rest on my side, drink plenty of fluids, etc. The blood pressure came down, but alas...I started having contractions. They were coming on fast, nearly 3 minutes apart. Go figure. Very glad I was not back at work when that happened. I would've been completely stranded. At this point, I had told some friends what was going on and that I for sure wouldn't be back at work, and more than likely little man would be making his appearance soon. I told the hubs to hang tight until I knew more and just stand by. Once the contractions started really getting intense to where I had to stop talking to the nurses, I called him and just told him to head over. I was done for.

The doctor on call gave me 2 options. I could go home and wait to see if I progressed more in a while or I could go ahead with a repeat c-section. As much as I really wanted to try for a VBAC with this baby, I couldn't imagine going home at that point. How would I know when to come back before I ended up having the baby in my bathtub? The contractions were already worse than when they tell you to go to the hospital and they wanted to send me home? I was in pain...get that baby out! Plus, I knew what recovery was like from a c-section. While not great, it was at least something I knew and could prepare for.

By 6:58pm, baby boy #2 was in this world. He weighed in at 7lbs. 2oz and 19" long. The usual nonsense like getting a spinal put in correctly and dealing with the miserable sickness from anesthesia was all part of the story, but the one thing I will never forget is hearing my baby cry. I was put to sleep when the bub was born, and managed to stay knocked out for a few days. I don't remember anything. That moment when your baby starts crying for the first time is something I could never explain. I was in tears, but very happy tears. He was healthy and finally here.

They sat him right next to me while they stitched me up and he rode with me back to my room where I'd be for the next 4-5 days. I unfortunately couldn't nurse him well while laying down and groggy. Plus, I continued to throw up everything in my system until about 3 in the morning. The nurses couldn't believe how nauseous I was. They really needed me to get up and walk around as soon as I could, but I could barely open my eyes without needing to reach for a bucket. Throwing up with a giant incision in your stomach...swell...let me tell ya.

The hubs was a trooper and I managed to get up and move a little more each day until we finally got to go home. I do have to say our experience at the hospital was awful in comparison to when the bub was born. The nurses weren't very attentive, we just sort of got left to fend for ourselves or constantly ask for things or ask questions about information I feel should've been given to us...things like when my child was fed in the nursery while I was throwing up and couldn't feed him that first night. They would run tests and not tell us results, etc.

All was going well until about 2 days after we got home. I totally thought...yes...I can do this. Not so bad. Thankfully no crazy surprises, and then disaster....dun dun dun.

I went to the bathroom and noticed that there was a big spot of blood on the pad they had me put on my incision so my clothes wouldn't rub. It was dried, so they chalked it up to maybe twisting while I slept and just irritating the incision. The next time I went to the bathroom about an hour later...it was full of blood, and it continued to run down my leg and all over the floor. I frantically yelled to the hubs and called the doctor.

Turns out, my incision had split and the bruising under the incision had started to find a way out. They had to completely split the incision to avoid any infection. Cue the next 8 weeks of daily visiting nurses who had to stuff the incision with various gauze and packing material until it finally healed from the inside out. 8 weeks! goodbye any hope of maternity leave dreams of strolling with my baby on a nice warm day in May. I was pretty much under house arrest, because too much movement would slow down the healing process. That first time I could drive and get out of the house...oh man. It was glorious!

So long story short...he's here and we are happily settled in 5 months later, not sleeping great, but not shocking considering big bro took about 7 months before sleeping through the night. My kids love them some momma milk, so they wake constantly to make sure they get it.

Welcome to the world Baby X. We couldn't be happier to have you in our lives.

COPPERTONE® CLEARLYSheer™ (product review)

A few of my friends had started getting to test out awesome new products by signing up for bzzagent. I thought...okay...free products and voicing my opinion to people. Perfect! The following post is a review of a product sent to me free of charge through bzzagent.com. All opinions are 100% my own.



It was finally warm enough around these parts to get outside and catch some rays. My younger self craves the sun to finally get a nice tan for the year, but my older (wiser sometimes) self knows that if I want to protect my skin for the even older self I have left, I need to use sun protection and forego the tan skin I crave each year. Plus, now that I have kids that like to go outside and play for hours, they need sun protection to prevent the awful sunburns their fair skin is bound to receive.

I also have very acne prone skin, as well as super sensitive skin. Anything that I have to put on my skin basically makes me break out even more than I already do. Most of the summer, my face looks like a 13 year old's, and it's a constant battle of makeup and sever skin washing to keep it maintained. I was so excited to try this new product. So far, so good. The pimples seem to be at bay. I can't be sure that it's not hormones leftover from pregnancy or the hormones from nursing (bless you hormones) that are also contributing to the great skin this year. However, the bubs doesn't have the same hormone help as far as I know, and his skin wasn't affected at all, either. This kid can barely stand a baby wipe, so anything that touches his skin has to be very gentle. We've been outside numerous times a week and used this sun screen every day, with no problems.

Happy customer indeed. Please notice you can't see the sun shining off any grease on his skin. I'm always so nervous of spray sunscreens as well, since most of them work like oil and cause burns instead of any protection. I was nervous trying a new brand, but holy moly!!! no burns, and I didn't even make him wait 15 minutes after spraying before he could play outside. It was easy to spray, wipe on a bit and then reapply all day long. Any way I can avoid a screaming toddler is fine by me. I definitely would recommend this product to everyone this summer.

Baby X...of course I won

This is going to be wordy and picture heavy. Sorry, but he's finally here! Xander Davis was born April 10, 2014 at 6:58pm, coming in at 7 lbs. 2 oz and 19.5" long.

I was having some blood pressure issues at home so went in for a quick check to get monitored at the doc's office in the morning. While I was getting monitored, I started going into labor. Go figure. All along I was looking to have a VBAC in high hopes that I wouldn't have to deal with the recovery of a c-section, but unfortunately, that wasn't in the cards.  They gave me the option of waiting out the contractions to see if I was making any progress or just going ahead with the c-section that night. I opted to wait and see what happened....nothing. They said I could go home, but the contractions were already about 2 minutes apart, so I wasn't sure what to do if I went home. How would I know if I was actually in labor or making progress? I have no idea how the logistics of checking my own cervix would work out, considering using the bathroom was already a bit difficult at my large size. :) There's a visual for ya. I threw in the towel and went with the c-section. At this time, I had already called in the hubs to help me through contractions, so when they told me I could be in the operating room within the hour, I freaked out. We didn't have a hospital bag, and there were a million people to call and inform them what was going on. I still had the bubs at daycare that needed to be picked up and dogs that would need to be fed and taken care of. Even with being relatively prepared, we realized there was no amount of preparation that we could've done to actually have all things in order for this delivery.

So phone calls were made and I was wheeled upstairs and prepped to get baby X into this world. I will never forget the complete anxiety I felt while getting prepped for my spinal and ready to meet this little man. I just wanted to keep him inside forever. I wasn't ready, no matter how ready I was to not be pregnant anymore. Once the STUDENT!!! got the spinal taken care of....that's right, another student doctor putting needles in my back (about as swell as that sounds)...we were ready to wait to hear the little man screaming away. This was all new to me since I was knocked out for the bub's arrival. Hubby sat next to my head and held my hand, probably just as scared as I was.

I will never forget the first time I heard him cry. Tears. There is nothing more amazing in the world than hearing your baby cry for the first time.

Hubs got up to see him and take pictures and bring him to me so I could smooch on him. It was wonderful. He stayed by my side all the way to the recovery room. Unfortunately, the rest of the night was miserable, as this momma does not handle the effects of anesthesia well. There were many buckets needed and lots of crackers and ice chips. Thankfully the baby was able to go to the nursery for the night, because I could barely sit up, let alone nurse and take care of a baby, as much as I was determined to keep trying.

Now little man is here and healthy and melting my heart. Big brother is smooching on him and trying to get mom's attention as much as possible. It's been interesting to say the least, but wonderful. More kids aren't out of the question, but it's going to be a while. I need to forget the effects of pregnancy and c-sections and giving birth before I dive into this madness again. And now the fun stuff....pictures!

He's seriously Jackson's twin. It's unreal. I can't wait to see how he looks as he grows to see if the similarity is still there. He's an alert baby and seems to wake up right at 3 hour increments to make sure he doesn't miss a feeding. He tends to bite, even without any teeth, so nursing has been a bit challenging, but I"m a determined brat, so we keep at it. People have recommended the lanolin cream, so it's on my list to find soon. I've been making a great freezer stash already, so hopefully my supply keeps up, because it was certainly not like this with the bub.

Off to get in some more relaxation while I'm enjoying a nice quiet house for a change. All the madness of dinner time will be starting soon.

Milestone

It might seem totally silly, but today is a milestone for us here. At this point in my pregnancy with the bub, I went to the doctor, and then went to the hospital. I had sever pre-eclampsia and was sent in to get some medicine to help bring my blood pressure down and try to get little man to keep baking as long as we could. In just a few more days, he was here.

This morning I had my 34-week checkup, and all looks good. Baby X is sitting very low and ready, but there's no action going on that anyone can tell. I get contractions all day every day, but even after weeks of that, I am still closed up nice and tight. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my body can do this, as another C-section doesn't really strike me as the best experience to have again. We've scheduled eviction day for April 21. I have to say that choosing when baby would come was not an easy task. I decided his due date was as good as any. Plus, it's with a doctor that I really like in the practice, even though it's not the same one I had with the bub. I'm hoping he does just as great at making the scar nice and tiny. But enough of that talk....fingers crossed baby pushes his own way out before then and I don't have to think about it at all.

Getting so close!

One thing that struck me as really odd was that I was really upset this weekend that I don't have much time left just as a family of 3. The bub was really sick over the weekend, and I had to do lots of late night snuggling. A part of me was just sad that I wouldn't have the time to give him soon, overwhelmed in what a newborn will bring. I'm hoping that he understands and this next step will be a great experience for us all. Brothers will be good, a permanent play mate, shoulder to lean on, and all sorts of other good things. Right?

41 days and counting...

Dreaded? Valentine's Day

I get it. For many people, today is the day they drown their misery of being alone in booze and maybe eating an entire box of chocolates by themselves. Fear not...even those of us happily married or with someone also dread this holiday. For me, today is the day my husband never ceases to amaze me with some thoughtful gift he found or romantic dinner for two he's created, thereby making me realize just how amazing life is that I've found this man to be my lifelong partner, father of my children, and also to realize how awful I am at those things. You would think the estrogen in my body would give me more of a knack for this day, but it really doesn't. My first thought is to get a card, and some years I do it weeks in advance, because I know as the day gets closer, I won't remember or have time to get to the store. Then I think up some awesome project I could do that wouldn't cost a ton of money (thereby causing the hubs to freak out even more), but then I run out of time or patience and never getting to making the awesome project I thought of a/k/a found on Pinterest at Christmas time and pinned for future reference.


Today is just not my thing. I prefer to love the crap out of my husband and kid(s) year round. Some days more than others, but 99% of the time, I wake up and realize just how freakin lucky I am to have them. At night, I'd love to say that I go to sleep feeling the love as well, but let's face it...most nights I'm just loving the crap out of my pillows for being cold and fluffy.


To all of you out there who love this holiday - embrace the crap out of it. Don't feel bad for wanting to take part in the Hallmark holiday. Screw the people who make fun of you. Even if you love someone so much only one day out of the year, it's better than not at all.


Now I'm off to finish out my day so I can get home and find out what awesome thing the hubs planned this year. Might I point out that 2 years ago, I came home to dinner in my living room with candles and my favorite meal. The bub was a tiny little thing and slept in the bouncer seat next to us the whole time. Probably one of my favorite years. Tonight I'd be grateful if all he did was cook dinner so I didn't have to think about it. I'm hoping to get the man some awesome beer on my way home so I don't look like a total failure. Can I blame it on pregnancy brain ya think?


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

moments (picture heavy)

I've always heard that time flies, and as I went through life, I never really thought it was all that different...and then I had kids, and animals, and a big girl job. Time just doesn't seem to ever want to stand still. The moments keep coming, and I just want to soak them all in. I'm finding it so hard to make room in my brain for the moments I just want to cherish forever and never forget. Moments like slumber parties in my living room, with all my furbabies and the bub curled up on a pillow next to the hubs, because he has to be "just like daddy." Or that moment when the bub actually still wants to cuddle on top of me. Not so easy with a giant belly in the way nowadays with baby bub on the way, but damn it...I was going to make it work. I always want to find the balance of getting a picture to last for years to come and just living in the moment and enjoying it while it happens. Just a few of these "moments" for your viewing pleasure:

 

 

As much as I want to run and grab the camera when I see his face light up, I have to remember that sometimes it's just as good to watch and add it to my stash of moments in my head, in hopes that I'll remember it one day.

With baby bub on the way in only 75 days and counting (or less), I'm trying to soak up our last moments as a family of three and look forward to what moments will come as a family of four. So far, the bub is excited and can't wait to meet his little brother. We'll see how things pan out once it's an all day crying fest and mom is locking herself in the bathroom with the shower running, just trying to get one moment alone.

And we start all over again...

Now that we've had a few doctor appointments under our belt, I guess it's time to let the secret out. We are expecting Baby #2 April 21, 2014.

alien baby picture from our NT scan at 12w3d

 

Not shocking, as we planned this one just like the bub. I had to forget all the horrible things that come along with pregnancy and convince myself that this time would be different. Thankfully, that seems to be holding true...for now. I think I'm still constantly waiting for the shit to hit the fan as they like to say. So far, no real severe cases of nausea, just a bit here and there. Plus, it seems like as long as I keep my belly full of terrible, not so great for you food, I feel much better. This baby will be an eater just like its brother and momma. Go figure. Also not surprising.

Naturally, there's the standard "we just want a healthy, happy baby", which couldn't ring more true for us, considering the bub was almost not so healthy when he was evicted 6 weeks early. But let's face it, there's always the gender battle. In our house, it's on. I am desperate for a little girl, someone I can mold to be just like her momma and maybe wear the occasional bow and tutu...while kicking a soccer ball or romping in the sand of the volleyball court...obviously. The hubs wants another mini-man, which I think I might actually be coming to terms with, but I'll still hold out hope. It would be nice for the bub to have a brother to play with, but I think it would be great for us to have a little girl running around, too. A nice mix, right? Granted, I hear girls are all sorts of drama, and I can definitely attest to that. Lots of throwing shoes, total temper tantrums and sassy pants were thrown around when I was a teen (I might still do that, but don't ask the hubs for verification...he'll throw me under the bus for sure).

Fingers crossed that this lack of symptoms is just the world's way of giving me a break this time and not any indication of something not being right in there. Like I said, I could start puking on someone's shoes any day now, so I just keep enjoying it while it lasts and hope for the best. I also hope for no early arrival or severe swelling of my entire freakin body, too. It'd be nice to not have to find a way to lose 75 pounds!!!! after this baby is born. It's hard enough to lose 10. Am I right? Yes...you read that correctly...75 pounds with the bub. Granted, mostly water weight, but still. Let's not.

Now the real fun begins...the name game and complete de-cluttering of the house that I swear is just closing in on us with every birthday and Christmas present making it look just a little bit more like Toys R Us vomited all over the place.

That's a big deck

Oh my hubby. He gets in his brain to start these insane projects, and it's like the world stops until they're done. Some things, I am perfectly okay with hiring out and saving my sanity for. He could not do the same. I will give him credit, though. This masterpiece went up in about 3 weeks.

With only the help of his dad most days, and a few friends on a weekend here and there, he persevered like nobody's business. Yesterday he finally put the siding back on the house and trimmed everything out. I think we're just waiting for one or 2 more posts to dry so we can put the light cap on. My one demand was that the deck light up at night, so we opted for these solar lights
from Home Depot. They don't really make it so you could read a book out there, but they at least make it so you don't fall overboard or on to your face if you aren't paying attention. I'm smitten. It's like a Christmas tree on the back of my house every night. I do find that there's one rogue light that shines right in my face while I sleep, though. Thank goodness for heavy duty curtains in our room.

I have to say it was a bit scary for a while with no railings, and my gem of a dog decided he'd kamikaze right off the edge one day. Thankfully no one was injured, just a little rattled, and by someone, I mean me. Look at this face.

I know. Right? Let's not go deck jumping anymore, okay?

Thankfully, the project is done. Well, for now. There's talk of adding rocks underneath and making a little patio space. *edit - the rocks have been delivered and are being shoveled in. The work never ends.

Now...now it's on to the next project...finding a shed so we can clear out our garage to add an actual car in there. Shocking concept. Oh, and maybe for me to start attacking our bathroom so it's not all wallpapered and molding. Who wallpapers a bathroom? Don't they know that steam generally peels that stuff right off the wall?

A letter to my son

I started writing this well before the bub was about to turn 2. I kept choking up and having trouble finding the words to say. I just can't believe how much changes in the blink of an eye.

To my sweet boy,

I never knew how much my heart could ache for someone until I had you. The way you smile and laugh makes me believe that there really is a light at the end of every tunnel. The amount of love you show the world is contagious. I know you're going to grow up to do great things some day, and I'm so excited to see what those things will be. However, I find myself wishing time would stand still so I could just enjoy every minute. People don't lie when they tell you that time flies. Some days I can't even remember what happened that day, because I blink and you're already being tucked into bed.

The journey for you to be in my arms was a tough one, but I'd do it all again, knowing what lies ahead. I'll never forget the first time they wheeled me up to the NICU to see you for the first time. Your daddy's smile melted my heart almost as much as your beautiful baby blues. He was so proud to be a dad, so much that he was willing to wake up every 2 hours to bring you my pumped milk from our hospital room and spend a few quiet moments with just the two of you.

You make our lives so much greater than I thought they could be. Here I was in disbelief that a child could change things so much, but you really do. I hope some day you realize that all the things I've told you have been for your own good. It took me a very long time to realize that about my own parents, but all in good time my love.

Be courageous, be smart, be silly, and be strong. You never know what life is going to throw your way, but when all else fails, put on a helmet and dive in head first. Trust your gut and stand up for what you believe in.

You are my everything, and I love you more than words will ever be able to say.

Summer!!

It's the first day of summer, which means it's the first day of the best time of year. I don't know about you, but I love summer the best of all the seasons. I like to sit outside, let the breeze blow through my hair, while I sip an ice cold margarita.

If I could find a way to vacation all summer (no I will not be a teacher. That many kids near me scares me), that would be great! For now, I'll soak up my nights and weekends until they can't stand it anymore.

To start off the season right, I'm headed out to my BFF's house tonight for some s'more making, fire burning, junk food eating fun. I'll be bringing along the hubs and the bub, and it's all I can do to not run out of work right this second and hit the road. (That's right...I blog at work...sometimes)

Even though I make the most of where I live, I'd give my right arm to live next to the beach and really enjoy it. I miss Rhode Island and being able to hit the sand within 15 minutes. Thankfully, I'm not too far and can still make a nice day trip of it. Now if only I could get my body back to pre-pregnancy, non-scary mode, I'd be all set. It's only been 2 years. You'd think I'd be there already. Not that I'm not pleased with myself right now, but man I could use some good toning. There's always beach volleyball, right??

How do you like to enjoy your summers? Beach bum? Hammock swinging by a fire? Curled up inside in front of an AC blasting in your face?

And now for your viewing pleasure, some beautiful ocean and beach pics from yours truly. These are actually from last year, before the hurricane took out our beach. Thankfully it's mostly put back together now. Major kudos to the men and women who helped clean up Rhode Island so I can have a beach to enjoy. Stupid weather.

 Tee hee. Look at his little hairs.

Ahhh. The ocean.

Go home weather, you're drunk

Now that I've lived in New England for over a decade, you would think I'd be used to the weather by now. I just can't seem to wrap my head around how it goes from 50* to 90* over night. It makes it incredibly difficult to decide what to wear and especially to explain to a toddler who doesn't understand why he doesn't get to wear a fleece jacket in 90* weather. I try to let him make his own decisions, like riding a train with no pants,

phone pic, sorry for the blur

but let's face it, it's summer! Where is the sunshine mother nature? Don't tease me with 90* and then screw me with 50s for the long weekend coming up. This is how it should be.

Fingers crossed for no rain this weekend, cause this momma wants to party outside all weekend. The bub needs to earn his keep and we have new plants to put in the ground. Anyone need a mower? He does great work. Did I mention he even comes with free bubbles?

can't beat the cuteness

We bought a new bike trailer for the bub, and we have yet to take it out for a test drive. After a bit of research and weighing options on cost, we opted for this one. I was debating whether to go with the double or single, but we'd love to have another baby soon, and even if we don't, the bub can ride in the middle just like if it were a single. I've heard from a few people that they really loved this model, so I'll keep you posted after we get it out this weekend. HEAR ME MOTHER NATURE?! MOMMA WANTS TO RIDE!

*I was not paid or perked for mentioning this product. I just wanted to share my decision and thoughts.

And for some additional cuteness:

that face makes me a pile of mush

New Ink

I finally did it. I've been thinking about it and planning it since that horrible day almost 2 years ago. I got my very first tattoo, in memory of my Kirra.

Why yes she is covered in mud. Thank you for noticing how awesome it is to have long haired dogs on a rainy day.

She was one of the twins that the hubs and I got when we first moved in together. On July 16, 2011, she passed away, in my arms on the way to the vet's office. I was devastated. I've never felt so much grief in my life, and there have been people close to me that I've lost. There's something about losing your first furbaby that just aches in your heart and never goes away. There's just a piece missing, not to mention we still have her brother, who just seems lonely all the time, even though he still has other fur siblings. I feel for him. My heart aches for him.

But enough with the depressing stuff. I've been there and done that for almost 2 years now. I want to remember her in all her wonderful glory of goofiness. Here's the new ink:

This is honestly right after it was done, and apparently I'm a bleeder, because it was a mess not long after this. I love it.

The paw print was done by the vet after she died, unbeknownst to me. I was so grateful that they sent it to me. Is it weird I never got ink prints of my child's feet but I have one of my dog's? We'll just leave that question alone for now.

Kirra was actually named after the surfing company. When we were picking names, the hubs had a sweatshirt laying around, and when I read the logo on the back, it stuck. The flowers represent the Hawaiian, surfy, beachy feel. And yes, our tattoo artist was very thrown with making things "beachy". I think he captured it quite well, even though he doesn't realize it.

Big shoutout to Lucky's Tattoo and Piercing in Northampton. Justin did an amazing job if anyone is looking for somewhere to go.

"Me" Time

Mother's day is fast approaching, and I love that I get a whole other day out of the year to celebrate just me. I wish the hubs would get on board with all of this "me" time.

Yesterday was my birthday, so I actually get two special days this month. No one at work knows when my birthday is, so it was an average day in the office, with text messages and the usual Facebook wishes. I love how social media can make people feel so loved. Now I don't even have to blab to my friends for a month in advance that my birthday is fast approaching. bonus!

The hubs has been looking into family photography for me, since I keep looking at it and really want to capture some moments of our family before we decide to have another baby. We didn't get to do the newborn photo shoot, since little man was in the NICU for so long and we really had other priorities at the time. I've always been bummed about it. This should be a lot of fun if we can find a decent photographer at a good price.

The hubs also got me an awesome hammock for outside. We have two huge trees in our backyard that are really far apart, so he was all smarty pants and got the tree straps separate so I wouldn't have to worry about finding a way to hang this thing. It's supposed to rain here for the next 2 weeks or some insane amount of days, but I assure you I have no problem laying in a hammock in the rain in the spring time. I did remind the hubs that the last time I was in a hammock, I ended up in the emergency room. Not my finest moment. In my defense, had the tree root not been there to break my fall, I would've been fine. Stupid tree.

Hope all you moms out there have a wonderful mother's day and get in some "me" time.

What's on your wish list?

The furbaby journey

As I mentioned, we had at our peak, 4 dogs, 2 cats and 2 fish tanks. I want to point out that I also grew up with these 2 lovely ladies, who have since passed.

Thankfully, they lived full and happy lives. I wish I had better pictures, but they were around long before I had any sort of fancy camera. Kacey, the yellow lab, was 15 when she died, from something going on with her throat. It continued to close and they did the surgery once, but it wouldn't stay fixed. Zena, the chocolate lab, is actually one of Kacey's puppies. She died at 13 from cancer in the stomach that continued to spread. They lived happy lives, and my stepdad was a happier man because of them. They were my childhood pets, and we had been through a lot together. I'm sure you'll hear more about them down the road, but for now, I want to tell you all about our crazy zoo now that I'm all grown up and can get into these messes on my own.

Mickey is my oldest animal. She has been around for about 10 years now, give or take a year. I wish I could remember all my animal's birthdays, but to be honest, I don't know the exact days, and roughly the years, until I look at their paperwork. She moved in with us in our new house and was not a fan.

Next came the twins, as I like to call them. They're brother and sister, Alaskan Malamutes. I have to say it was all the hubs' idea to get the furriest animals he could find. I wish he opted to do all the vacuuming thanks to all the fur he decided to bring into our lives, but that just doesn't happen.

I mean how do you resist?

 

After about six months, I had heard about some puppies that needed good homes near our house. I asked someone who knew the people who had them (people suck when they just let dogs make dogs, fyi). One look and I was hooked. That's how Sadie came to be a part of our family. It took a while for the twins to warm up to our little maniac, but she does just fine now. She is probably the smallest lab/pit mutt I have ever met, topping out at about 40 pounds.

She was so tiny. Hilarious.

 

As you can imagine, Mickey was rather pissed at this point. All the dogs in the house and she pretty much stayed in the basement to keep away from the cold noses up the butt. I decided she needed a friend. Along came Bella.

She's loud and obnoxious, but we love her. She mandates that I play hide and go seek with her at least once a day, and insists on everyone knowing that she's in the room.

 

At this point, we were pretty much losing our marbles, but we couldn't resist when we found out our breeders of the twins were having another litter. "Let's just go take a look and play with the puppies."

Yeah....that didn't happen. Kaz happened.

I won't bore you with the fish. As you can imagine...big tanks of water filled with fishy things. Some day they might make an appearance, but not today.

 

So that's the whole zoo. Sending you virtual cookies for reading the whole thing. I promise all the posts won't be this long. It's shedding season, so I'm off to brush the dog again, and then cry as the fur flies in the fantastic breezes coming through our windows tonight.